It’s long. I’m sorry. I’m on mobile and can’t put a read more.
I had done a fair amount of research while we were waiting for our follow up appointment. That seemed like the longest week ever. Going into the appointment I was already pretty set on opting for a D&C if we needed to go that route.
Once we finished the ultrasound, I had a moment of recomoosure and we went into the doctors office and sat down. The baby and sac were still attached very high in my uterus, probably because of the progesterone. It hadn’t dropped at all, and there was no blood in my uterus. She explained my options. I could wait for a natural miscarriage, but it could take an extended time for anything to work because of being on such a high dose of progesterone. We are talking up to 4-6 weeks for anything to start happening. That was not an option for us. I didn’t want to be walking around for weeks wondering when the day would be that I would start bleeding and cramping.
My next option was to try cytotec for medical management. I would insert the pill vaginally and then wait. Then I would take a second dose a day later to make sure everything had come out. I was a good candidate for the cytotec. The pregnancy was still small, only being 6 weeks developed.
My third option was for the D&C. She called the surgical center and they had Friday morning pretty open. My husband and I talked briefly and decided that emotionally it was probably the best route for us.
Once I was faced with the decision though, I felt stuck. I didn’t want surgery as my only surgical experience I’ve had was a very very negative one riddled with complications. Waiting for it naturally was completely out of the question. I was entertaining the cytotec because of my anxiety of anesthesia and surgery. Realistically I felt it wasn’t something I could handle at home. I had read many very vivid stories of experiences with the medicated miscarriages and I just didn’t think I could imagine sitting on the toilet and then flushing my baby away. Also, I think it would have been very difficult for me to handle my emotions during it.
So we opted for the D&C. I could get it done soon. The chances of me spotting from Wednesday afternoon to Friday morning were slim. My RE would do the procedure.
Friday morning we left for the surgical center around 9am. I had to stop at the store and get some chapstick because even though I know I have a million tubes laying around I couldn’t find a single one. From my experience chapstick was necessary in hospital settings.
It took us about 45 minutes to make our way to the surgical center, located in downtown DC. We weren’t really sure where we were going so we parked in the parking garage closest to where the gps told us we needed to be. It happened to be the garage under the building we needed so we were happy about that. I got checked in and registered right on time and we had to sit and wait.
I was supposed to be there at 10 and I completed registration by 9:55. I don’t think the nurse came to get me until about 10:35. I went back and changed into a giant gown, robe, slipper socks and a palm tree surgical cap.
They took us back and sat me in a recliner chair and covered me with blankets and gave me bottles of warm saline to hold. I was freezing and shaking from nerves and it being so cold. The nurse filled out paperwork and we went through the medical history checklists.
The anesthesiologist Dr H came and talked to me and asked questions about my experiences with anesthesia. He went to gather his supplies and my RE (Dr S) walked in. At this point I was on the verge of tears and wanted to be anywhere but there. She asked if I was sure I wanted to do it. I responded with “No, but I don’t want any of the other options either, so I’m stuck here.” She reassured me it’d be okay and started going over her surgical paperwork and the genetic testing forms. I asked to go to the bathroom before everything started. Once I got back to my chair and under the blankets I started crying.
Dr H (the anesthesiologist) came back with his supplies to start the IV. I told him I had huge anxiety about it because they had so many issues last year. He had a small syringe filled with local anesthetic that he put a bead of under the skin on my hands before he attempted the IV. I was incredibly appreciative of this and had never had it numbed beforehand. He tried twice on my left hand. He got one in the vein but couldn’t advance the tube into the vein. So he numbed my right hand and got it in finally.
I sat for about 10 minutes and got a half a bag of fluids before I said goodbye to my husband and they walked me back to the operating room. I wish I had already been knocked out at this point because it didn’t help my anxiety seeing all the tools and monitors inside the room. They had some great late 80s soft rock playing which actually comforted me a bit. They had me get positioned on the table with my butt in the hole in the table. They attached the heart monitors, a bp cuff, and strapped down my arms. My anxiety was in full force and I the anesthesiologist kept wiping my tears and reassuring me. He put the oxygen tube on and started to push something and asked me if I was feeling better or any different. I responded, “No, still terrified.” Dr S, my RE walked in and was chatting with the nurses. The nurses were fiddling with the giant straps that I assume were to hold my legs apart. The last thing I remember was the anesthesiologists hand on my head and seeing him push a giant syringe of cloudy white stuff… And then I was out.
I remember being woken up and they had me scoot from the surgery table to the gurney. I don’t remember being wheeled into recovery. I started really waking up about 15 minutes later but was still dozing on and off. Around 11:50 they helped me get up and wobble to get dressed. They gave me some Motrin because I was starting to cramp. They finally brought my husband back and he sat with me while I ate some graham crackers and apple juice.
The transporter wheeled me down to the garage and helped me get in the car when they brought it up. I was still incredibly groggy and dizzy the entire way home. My husband got me set up in bed and went and got me some soup to eat. I ended up taking a Percocet we had left from when I hurt my wrist. It really took the edge off the cramps and I slept pretty well through the evening. I don’t think the emotions hit me until the anesthesia mostly wore off later in the night.
Saturday I was in bed most of the day, flipping from crying from the discomfort or from being upset about everything. My cervix felt like it was on fire. We did go to costco and walked around for a bit. I had some major cramps and didn’t know if I was hoping to make it back to the car at one point. Came home and stayed mostly in bed dozing.
Sunday afternoon I started to have really horrible pains that were radiating back and forth in my pelvis. I had dropped to taking 600mg of ibuprofen (when I remembered) and it wasn’t cutting it. I sent my husband out to the 24 hour pharmacy to fill the small Vicodin prescription I was given. It helped tremendously.
Yesterday we had a huge snow storm and everything was closed, including the government, so we layer in bed most of the day. The pains were still pretty intense and I had a searing headache for the entire day. I slept when I could, and the Vicodin continued to help. I think the headache was from my hormones starting to crash.
This morning I am back to taking 800mg of ibuprofen and so far I have been okay. I’m a bit uncomfortable with a headache still but I’m making do.
I can feel myself falling into depression and the sadness is completely overwhelming at times. It comes in waves. I know it will take a while to start moving forward (not on or past). I need to make my follow up appointment for some time towards the end of next week to be cleared to resume sexual activities, swimming, baths, etc.
I’m still dealing with some soreness, bloating and nausea. I’ve been taking zofran on and off as needed.